Dedication
Forward by Dr. H. Norman Wright
Preface
Introduction

PART ONE
WHAT WE ARE
A brief look at our present way of thinking about ourselves; What our basic self-identity needs actually are; Outline of mental processes for accomplishing an adequate self-concept.
1
THE ILLUSIVE IMAGE CALLED SELF
Three questions define awareness of self; Everyone has some opinion of himself; Self-concept is constituted by many memories; Self-concept can be improved.
2
MORE BIASED THAN WE THINK
“I’m not pretty”; “Beauty is as beauty does”; “I am fat”; “I am stupid”; “I am no good”; “I am defective”; “I always fail”; “I can’t stand to fail”; What about your self-concept?
3
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF
The aspect of appearance; The aspect of performance; The aspect of status; Self-concept reveals emotional maturity.
4
THREE FEELINGS BLEND TOGETHER
Feelings of belonging; Feelings of worthiness; Feelings of competence; Interplay of the triad of self-concept feelings.
5
IMPORTANT ABILITIES AND REACTIONS
Abilities that build emotional security; Empathy; Identification; Love; Reactions that contribute to emotional insecurity; Hostility; Guilt; Fear; Repression.

PART TWO
HOW WE BECAME WHAT WE ARE
Self-concept factors in the development of a child from conception to adulthood; Environmental influences upon emotional development; False security factors within self-concept structure.
6
FIRST FEELINGS OF SELF-AWARENESS
The prenatal situation; Our first identity crisis; Meaning of hunger and eating; Early beginnings of awareness; Growth brings new identity crises; Waiting for service magnifies the crisis; Early beginnings of relationship feelings.
7
EARLY BEGINNINGS OF SELF-CONCEPT
Empathy and identification at work; Two ways of feeling like somebody; Effects of unloving parental attitudes; The first way love is felt; A child wants to be included; Love must be voluntary; Beginnings of hope feelings; Coping with an infant’s anger; Three types of negative feelings in infants; First awareness of self-concept; The first birthday.
8
PARENTAL DISCIPLINE CRITICALLY AFFECTS SELF-CONCEPT
The change created by growth; A child needs to feel respected when corrected; A new dimension is added to feeling loved; The impact of toilet training; Toilet training awakens a time-consciousness; Implications about personal worth in toilet training; Two kinds of patience needed; Basic life styles result from parental discipline and example; Some basic considerations for parents; Restored belonging becomes the basis of worthiness.
9
CULTIVATING AUTONOMY STRENGTHENS SELF-CONCEPT
Many factors influence early development; A child needs his parents’ undivided attention; The ideal of feeling special; Some parents are not ideal; Facing competition courageously is a part of life; Healthy struggle with inferiority feelings; Fantasy and idealization are valuable assets; A new dimension added to feeling loved.
10
SEX-ROLE DEVELOPMENT COMPLETES SELF-CONCEPT
The child’s first awareness of sex; Value of sexual fantasies; Sex-role development; Importance of father and mother roles; Jealousy comes into full bloom; Threat to being special for boys and girls; Other factors that mold sex-role development; Pathway for boys briefly stated; Pathway for girls briefly stated.
11
FALSE SECURITY FACTORS IN SELF-CONCEPT
Unloving factors in relationships leave lasting effects; Polarity in relationships maintains false security; Projected images disturb honest relationships; Underlying factor in false security; A false security common to all people; Self-verification polarizes our thinking; The need to be strong; The need to be weak; The need to be evasive; False security is self-perpetuating.

PART THREE
WHAT WE CAN BECOME
Self-concept has a new, stable premise in spiritual conversion; How we can relate to God for basic emotional needs; New self-concept changes personal relationships and gives new meaning to liv-ing; Perfecting the new self-concept and continuing to grow into emotional maturity.
12
STABLE PREMISE FOR A SECURE SELF-CONCEPT
Some insecurity factors in self-verification; Spiritual dimension in thinking provides a stable premise; Stable premise available by spiritual conversion; Spiritual explanation for emotional insecurity; How faith in God solves the insecurity problem; Faith in God provides elements needed for development; Faith is fundamental to hope and love; How faith in God closes the separation gap
13
PERMEATE THE RELATIVE WITH THE ABSOLUTE
A. IN OUR PERCEPTION OF THE SITUATION: The heart cries for the absolute; True security available by accepting the absolute; God’s one great frustration; Faith in God permeates the relative with the absolute.
B. IN THE FUNCTIONING OF THE INNER SELF: Man has a privilege of choice with responsibility.
14
REORIENT SELF-CONCEPT TO THE ABSOLUTE
Spiritual premise gives new equation to self-identity; Relate to God the Father, validate belonging; Relate to God the Son, validate worthiness; Relate to God the Holy Spirit, validate competence; Reorient by obeying the first great commandment.
15
FIND NEW MEANING IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
God’s design for relationships; Relationships can be peer in quality; Basic fear of people abated by love; Relationships are triangular, but seem linear; Relationships provide an island of security.
16
ATTEND TO YOUR NEGATIVE TENDENCIES
The tendency to treat people as things; The tendency to resent unpleasant circumstances; The tendency to resent loss of control; The tendency to resent humiliating happenings; The tendency to give up when proven wrong; The tendency to be paralyzed when fearful; The tendency to dread problems; The tendency to be unforgiving.
17
REVOKE THE UNDERTOW OF SELFISM
Natural origins of selfism; A few telltales to self-ism; Dynamic factor in selfism; Selfism in the Christian’s thinking; The undertow of selfism has historical roots; The exemplary Overcomer; Self-ism causes many emotional insecurities; When temptation becomes sinful; Three types of pleasure lure to selfism; Faith in God revokes the undertow of selfism.
18
PERFECT YOUR NEW SELF-CONCEPT
Frequently review the basic identity equation; Enlarge your capacity for belonging by forgiving others; Enlarge your capacity for worthiness by being generous with others; Strengthen your sense of competence by honoring others; Safe-guard against selfism by being grateful.
19
MANIFEST AN ADEQUATE SELF-CONCEPT
Three ways to love so that love is felt; Three ways to increase a healthy self-love.
20
HOPE FOR EXPERIENCING YOUR ULTIMATE SELF
“Dust you are”; We are His workmanship; At the resurrection, we will become complete.